Wednesday, September 9, 2009

honest mommy

here's my honest mommy post. i am exhausted. mommy-emotional exhaustion I think is it. In fact, I am writing this post with my eyes closed because it just feels so much better. Although, I am not tired enough to go to sleep. Too much on my mommy brain.

things like: why did Anna scream for 2 hours before she fell asleep for nap today?
Why did she then proceed to only sleep for 35 minutes?
Why did she scream then before she fell asleep tonight?
Why did the Dr. say it's just a virus and we are going on day 6 of a low-grade fever?
what if it turned into an ear infection?
what if that cough is turning into something more?
what if she gets croupe because I let her cry too long?
What if I am a bad mommy and didn't cuddle her enough during creaming time because I was just too darned overwhelmed with the sound of the screaming?
Why is it that she doesn't ever fall asleep when she is rocked, but she likes it?
Why is she so darned stubborn?
Why does folding 6 loads of laundry seem like an insurmountable task, but not so bad once you do it?
Why is it that just when I'm really made at the situation, Anna tells me she has to pee and I take her and she goes? and then I have to "be excited" because she did go?
Why am I really upset that I have to not be entertained by fall TV lineup because the President wants to talk about his health care reform?
Why is it always on days like this it happens that Chris isn't home for dinner and he won't be home until 10 pm?
Why didn't I take that Excedrin and drink a Coke? (I am gonna do that - like instantly after I post this)
Why do I still think she is unbelievably precious even after copious amounts of shrieking?

I know the answer to that: I love her. She is mine. I love her. And when she does a princess dance in her tutu bathing suit before swimming in Grandmom's hot tub tonight, it makes me smile. A big smile. And I need that.

2 comments:

Knocker Boys said...

Sorry about all that. I think it's the ears too. With Sam and Anna, it always ends up being the ears - no matter how it starts.

And now I know how you posted so much - the excedrin and coke.

Flamingo Mama said...

i hate days like this. i always feel drained....and then guilty because you are right...you remember their cuteness and you wonder how you could have ever been annoyed with them.